This year I turned 50, Until this past year I never really thought much of it. What's the big deal it's just another year, another number? Well it was a BIG deal, this has been the worse year that I can remember. Don't think I'm foolish I know it can always get worse, it can always get worse.
My mom left me, on January 21st just after Obama was inaugurated. My mom was a true blue Democrat. She won battle after battle with lung cancer for over four and a half years but lung cancer won the war. Who does that, who could battle lung cancer stage 3 B for over four and a half years? My mom, my mom could. She was opinionated, difficult, stubborn, fun, smarter than she'll ever know she was, a fighter, fair minded and the strongest person I will ever know.
Things kept piling on, over the weeks and the months, family health problems, strange odd set backs, Way to much to go on on about here. Even my 14 year old border collie that the vet even calls decrepit, got very very sick.. Each morning we check to see if her chest is still moving up and down, But everyday it has been and she greets me with that doggy smile. (Yes she's one of those dogs that smiles.)
So I took solace in painting. I painted pretty little watercolors day after day while listening to the tunes we put together for my mom's visitation, until one day I had enough and got a new playlist. I was that hamster on the wheel in the cage. I thought as long as I'm taking action it will get better. But today I'm getting off that wheel of little pretty watercolors. And I'm starting back at the beginning.
Starting back at the beginning, is going back to my home, No not back to Maryland my painting home. I need color, and paint and lots of it. An abstract painter is how I have always defined myself- colorfield, expressionist... I need to go home. And so it begins.